life and stuff

I'm pretty sure from now on people are gonna have show me they deserve some of my time if they wanna hang out. My friend mentioned this idea to me one time(regarding her own life) and it seems fitting. People who don't call/text back and who don't do what they say they are going to do are not helping themselves in my esteem for them. When people give the excuse they are too busy, it's not good enough. You make time for what you want to make time for, for what you value. And you teach people what behaviour to expect from you. There are so many wonderful people in my life that I have finally realized I don't have time for the not-so-great ones. And I'm excited when I think about the future and the fact that there are even more great people to come my way!

I had a strange dream a few nights ago: I was running a marathon through NYC across the Brooklyn Bridge. I am sooooo excited about visiting early next year that I feel as though I may pop sometimes! I think moving there will be a wonderful experience and I am feeling ready mentally. I love cities; big cities; really big cities. And change is what I need now and I'm ready to move on again.

I need to write all of my friend's birthdays down on a calander so that I remember them from now on. I want to be a better friend to people and this is one little thing that reminds me that I need to be attentive to people and their lives.

I've been reading the TrueBlood books(Sookie Stackhouse). They're pretty interesting and very entertaining. I don't watch too much TV these days as I seem to prefer reading right now. I have to be careful to stay balanced though. Sometimes I will read for hours and not get other things taken care of. Can't let that happen. I can have a one track mind.

Etsy

I set up an Etsy store to sell my paintings. Go check it out!!!! www.MacKenzieLea.etsy.com

Edits

I'm editing my book. I've streamlined the story and replaced some pages. This is the drawing for a new page. Penguins are cool. Get it? Cool, as in awesome, but also as in cold? Yep, I knew I should explain :)

My brain is tricky. I can't trust what I feel. I get anxious, things seem immediate. People feel important and emotions are ushered in with force. But I can't believe it. It's not me, its the OCD. It's nearly impossible to tell where I end and it begins. In fact, it is. Impossible. So now I know I can't trust my immediate feelings. Nor my not so immediate ones. I have to play it safe in the beginning, really watch out and take care of myself up front. Monitor things. No more jumping in hastily. Then as time passes, truth and perspective will show me what is real and who I should let stay and value.

But until that time and person arrive, more penguins and drawing!

always on

wish i could turn my brain offfffffffffff. but my parents are AMAZING and came to my rescue today. i started to spin a little out of control and they stopped by and helped me with everything and now i can get back to painting and breathe.

finished

vvvvvrrrrrrrr

i miss power tools. i realized this a few days ago. i want to use planers, table saws and jigsaws again. i want wood glue, biscuits and staple guns. i want to have to pull my hair back in a pony tale and wear safety goggles. my grandpa isn't around anymore, and he is the only person i knew with all those things. i wish he were still here and we could work together and have fun.

maybe i will meet someone who has these things and we can be power tool buddies and make fun little things together. i have some ideas... :)

forward

11 months and counting. sometimes when i'm driving i pretend i'm in another city.

i hope this weekend is fun. i could use it.

i enjoy it best being around genuine, caring, intelligent people. they rule and make me happy.